November 2014 -- Order

Order: Let all your Things have their Places. Let each Part of your Business have its Time

31/10/14

I can hardly wait to get started on this. It's my forte, as I'm a little bit OCD, and there is so much that is currently Out Of Order in my life right now.... mostly the physical stuff but some mental and emotional stuff too. First order of business is to try and get myself into a routine that doesn't require so many late nights working in the office. I need to recover that piece of time and put it in order. Hooray for November and Order!

2/12/14

There is more Order in life now in various places. Really useful to have permission for this focus! It's hard not to see the places where order is still to be achieved, but we're getting there. My wardrobe and dresser top had become unmanageable! It's much nicer and contributes to good mental space to have an orderly environment. Thank you November!

October 2014 -- Silence

Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling Conversation

1/10/14

I'm starting to think that Ben may have put these in a particular order for a reason. Is it coincidence that I had trouble biting my tongue last month and now that is exactly the goal? Doubtful. Trivial conversation? Sometimes a bit of trivial conversation would be nice actually.... But the first part -- speak not but what may benefit others or yourself .... -- that is wise and difficult and should reap some pretty hefty rewards in the marriage department. Ok, to work!


31/10/14

Although I was alone with my thoughts a lot this month, they were fleeting moments -- it terms of busy-ness, life interference and sheer workload this was the noisiest month I've had for a very long time. Knowing Silence was my theme did keep me in check a bit -- remembering how important it is to create a calm space, that the degree to which one is capable of exercising silence is in direct proportion to the amount of silence one cultivates away from the flurry and scurry of life.

I have failed pretty well on the silence assisting marriage front -- apparently I've been saying chippy things and undervaluing my husband.

So I have A LOT more work to do on this. I hope next time I come to tackle it I have a less stressful month!

September 2014 -- Temperance

Temperance: eat not to dulness; drink not to elevation.

10/9/14
Temperance is a great place to start. I need to lose a little weight before my big birthday next month! But I think this goes beyond what goes into my body -- food and drink. I think it also applies to what I feed my mind. I don't want to dull my senses with lots of TV or Facebook. A little is fine, but let's not get carried away and lose track of time. It also applies to what I allow myself to think about -- do I dwell on problems and fester, or do I give them only the amount of airtime they deserve?

So, for body and mind, I want to cultivate temperance.

Definitions of Temperance:

• moderation in action, thought or feeling
• habitual moderation in the indulgence of the appetites or passions
• moderation in or abstinence from the use of alcoholic beverages. 

Each of these has interest for me: 

1. moderation in action, thought and feeling -- I indulge my feelings often and speak before I've really thought about what I'm saying. I unload my baggage on others. TEMPERANCE! 
2. habitual moderation in the indulgence of the appetites or passions -- I can snack too much of an evening. I'm not a binge-er so shouldn't be too hard to cut back and practice TEMPERANCE! 
3. moderation in use of alcoholic beverages -- I've been practising already at not drinking very much at night, and waiting until some of my work is complete first. I think I'll also try to make sure I'm only drinking 3-4 nights a week rather than a glass every night. TEMPERANCE! 

All of this links to Mindfulness practice for me, as the hardest part is going to be temperance with my thoughts, actions and feelings. It's very good to have a focus though, and this is a great place to start. I haven't read the whole of Ben Franklin's autobiography, but I have a copy on the way so will be adding reflections on that too. 

23/9/14
My autobiography still hasn't arrived!! Not sure why. Will chase. But meanwhile, Temperance is doing her job. Everyday I have those little nudges 'eat this' or 'drink that' or 'put that off til tomorrow' or worse 'obsess over that until you've beat the shit out of it' and little by little I'm learning a powerful lesson about the value of 'NO.' I have lost a pound or so, and I'm drinking less in the evenings. Saying no to sweet more too which had become a little habit I indulged over summer.

It's the thoughts and feelings part that I am not doing so well at. I still tend to say what's in my head regardless of the impact on others. I think the key to this is to think about how I intersect others as I go through my day. I sometimes view myself on a 'train track' of sorts -- I have so much to get done, so many goals for myself, and feel constantly behind. I then tend to view other people as an interference on my journey. So they might not get treated very nicely as a result. If I shift this and start thinking about how I interrupt THEIR journey, and consider how they would describe the interaction after it has happened, I might bite my tongue more.

30/9/14

So, last day of September. I still have a way to go with the temperance of tongue part. And when my self-care slackens so does my resistance to temptations. Today it was a large handful of peanuts. But all in all I've learned a lot this month, and I've probably drunk less wine this month than any for a long time, so that's probably a good thing. And I don't miss the daily (decaf) coffee as much as I thought -- it's occasional now rather than essential and I feel better for it. Thanks, Ben, for a lesson in Temperance. Worth reviewing again, but certainly a good investment.

The biography arrived.... just starting and was interested to skip ahead to the section on his kite experiment. What a mind .... a polymath.... my kind of guy.

Launching the Experiment -- 13 months of character building

Benjamin Franklin is known for many things, but did you know that he went about trying to improve his character methodically, cultivating 13 specific values? This is laid out in his autobiography.

I came across this as a matter of chance, cited by Stephen Covey in his Seven Habit of Highly Effective People.

I've decided to spend the next 13 months cultivating specific values in my life, one each month for 13 months.

Here's Ben Franklin's list:

1. Temperance: Eat not to Dullness, drink not to elevation
2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling Conversation
3. Order: Let all your Things have their Places. Let each Part of your Business have its Time
4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality: Make no Expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste Nothing
6. Industry: Lose no Time. Be always employ’d in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary Actions
7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful Deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak; speak accordingly.
8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing Injuries or omitting the Benefits that are your Duty.
9. Moderation: Avoid Extremes. Forbear resenting Injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no Uncleanness in Body, Clothes, or Habitation
11. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at Trifles, or at Accidents common or unavoidable.
12. Chastity: Rarely use Venery but for Health or Offspring; Never to Dullness, Weakness, or the Injury of your own or another’s Peace or Reputation.
13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

I am disappointed the Generosity is not on this list, so I am going to work that in somewhere at some point.

So begins a 13 month experiment!